so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
