There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
