is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
