I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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