Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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