never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Randomize
