I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
The ass gains better be worth it
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