I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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