Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Just puked most of my soul out..
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