hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
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