K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
