Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
