how can u be prego again
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
