So drunk its hurt
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
