We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
