I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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