??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
