Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
