Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
