omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Another day, another engagement, another cat
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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