My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm way too hungover for life right now
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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