Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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