Your dad touched me again.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
