Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
