Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just high enough for therapy.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize