Well apparently he's into motor boating.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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