whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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