If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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