omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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