It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
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This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
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Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize