also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
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I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
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i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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