Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
