He disabled his match.com account in front of me
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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