Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
