i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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