I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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