Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
And then he peed in my hair
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
