Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
