Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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