You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize