I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
