Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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