is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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