Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
