My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
