We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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