the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
