hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
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