bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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