i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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