So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
