Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
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A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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