Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
