Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Randomize
