he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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