I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
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