If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
even my farts smell like vagina
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
