If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
