I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
