i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
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all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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