and my herpes radar will keep us safe
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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